Disneyland
by writeallnight
Summary: Kensi's burning hatred of Disneyland causes Deeks to push for an answer. When both of their lives are on the line will she trust him enough to share her secret? Written for the NCISLA Magazine #KensiAppreciationWeek prompt challenge.


A/N: So it's possible that this is the longest one shot in the history of the world. It didn't start out that way but that's where it ended up! This is also the first challenge I've ever written for so yay! I wrote this for the #KensiAppreciationWeek challenge at NCISLA Magazine. Good times! I realize I'm cutting it very close here. Like super close to the wire but I've just started grad school so things have been a little nutso lately. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

><p>"Please Kensi?"<p>

"No."

"Pleeeeease?"

"Deeks, I said no."

"Kensi-"

"Deeks!" Kensi's tone was full of warning, "don't ask again."

"But why not?" Deeks whined.

"Because I don't want to."

"Ha, okay, that's not a real answer."

"Well it's as good as you're going to get."

"Kensi."

"Let it go Deeks!"

"Whoa!" Callen and Sam interrupted the conversation with their entrance. "What's eating you?" Callen asked as he leaned back in his chair.

"Kensi doesn't want to hang out with me on our day off," Deeks complained.

"That is not what I said," Kensi growled. "It's the _location_ that I don't like. If you want to go somewhere else I'll be happy to join you."

"Where are you trying to take her Deeks? Vegas strip club?" Sam asked with a grin.

"I'll bet it's to see 'Wicked' for the fifth time," Callen guessed.

"'Wicked' is a gem in the world of theatre," Deeks shot back. "But you're both wrong. I want to go to Disneyland."

Sam burst out laughing while Callen shook his head. "Oh Deeks. So young, so much to learn," he sighed. "Don't you know your partner at all?'

"What are you talking about?" Deeks asked with a frown.

"Kensi hates Disneyland," Sam told him with a smirk.

"What?" Deeks' gaze turned to his partner. "How can you hate Disneyland?"

"She has a thing against grown men in hairy costumes," Callen said. "That's a direct quote."

"Come on!" Deeks said incredulously. "You're not serious."

Kensi shrugged her shoulders. "You know how I feel about hairy men."

Deeks frowned and squinted at her but didn't say anything more. "I can't believe you didn't know that," Sam said. "That's like Kensi 101."

"Sam, Callen!" Eric was waving them upstairs.

"Time to go to work," Callen told them. "You'll have to find out all of Kensi's dirty little secrets later Deeks."

They all made it up to Ops and Eric began giving them an update on their current case. Deeks leaned closer to his partner as Eric and Nell spoke. "You're lying," he whispered in her ear.

Kensi started and glared at him. "What?" she hissed back.

"You may not want to go to Disneyland but it's not because of men in costumes," he told her.

"What are you-"

"You're lying to me. I know you Kensalina. Sam and Callen might not be able to tell but I can."

"Deeks-"

"Mr. Deeks, Miss Blye is there something you would like to share with us?" Hetty interrupted their conversation.

Kensi gaped at their boss wordlessly as Deeks jumped in. "We were just discussing the best course of action," he announced.

"I see," Hetty replied knowingly. "And what did you and Agent Blye determine?"

Deeks blinked several times as his mind churned for an answer. "That we would of course defer to your impeccable judgement," he said slowly.

"Hm…." Hetty pursed her lips and stared at him. "Always a wise choice Mr. Deeks. You and Miss Blye will be making a visit to the suspect's second home. See what you can dig up."

"Yes ma'am," Deeks said as he and Kensi moved toward the door.

"And Mr. Deeks, next time, please refrain from discussing your partner's dislike of amusement parks during briefings."

Deeks' mouth twitched. "Yes ma'am."

* * *

><p>"Tell me."<p>

"I'm not talking to you."

"_Tell me!"_

Kensi motioned sealing her lips and throwing away the key with one hand while she drove with the other.

"I'm going to find out," Deeks told her. "You know I will."

Kensi glued her eyes to the road and remained silent. "So that's how it's going to be?" Deeks asked. "Silent treatment? Okay. Fine. You be silent. I'll talk."

He put his head back against the seat, settling in for the ride. "Jack and Rose both could have fit on that piece of wood."

Kensi's grip on the steering wheel tightened instantly much to her partner's satisfaction. "Yeah, there was definitely room for both of them. Rose was just being selfish. Maybe she didn't really love him after all. I mean, they'd only known each other what, a couple days? Would you give up your life for someone you'd only known a few days?"

Kensi exhaled slowly and did not look at her partner. "Or maybe it was Jack," Deeks continued. "You know? Maybe he wanted to play the hero. He was a gambler so he just assumed they'd get rescued and then he would be all heroic saving her. Too bad for him."

Still Kensi said nothing. "And how about that line? 'I'll never let go Jack!' and then-"

"Okay, stop!" Kensi yelled.

"Ha! Only if you tell me why you hate Disneyland!" Deeks shot back.

Kensi sighed. "Deeks…"

"Why won't you tell me? We're partners Kensi. We're supposed to tell each other everything."

"No!" Kensi snapped. "We're not Deeks. _You_ tell everyone everything. Some of us like to have a sense of privacy. My personal life is none of your business."

Deeks looked at her wordlessly as she stopped the car. "We're here." She put it in park and got out, slamming the door behind her.

Deeks followed her slowly the realization that he had overstepped weighing heavily on his mind. "Kens, I-"

She shook her head. "Save it Deeks. Let's just do our job okay?"

Kensi turned and knocked on the door. "NCIS, open up!"

There was no answer so Kensi picked the lock and they entered quietly, weapons drawn. "Clear!" Kensi called from the kitchen.

"Clear!" Deeks echoed from the study.

"Bedroom is clear too," Kensi said as they met in the living room.

"So is the bathroom," Deeks told her. "Kensi-"

"Let's check the basement," Kensi cut him off, clearly not in the mood for a heart to heart.

Deeks set his jaw. "Fine."

He opened the basement door and began his descent, Kensi following a few steps behind. Deeks found a light switch and turned it on. "Holy…"

Guns and ammunition of every size were stacked on tables and piled high on shelves all around the room. "Eric," Kensi activated her earwig. "We've got-"

There was an audible beep and a click. Deeks looked at his partner. "What was-"

That was all he got out before the whole world exploded.

* * *

><p>Kensi groaned and opened her eyes slowly. <em>What the hell was going on?<em> She blinked and tried to see through the murky darkness that surrounded her without success. Attempting to swallow was no easier; the air was thick with dust causing her to cough, which sent horrible pain through her side. She gasped and pressed a hand to her rib cage.

Something trickled down her face and into her eyes and when she tried to wipe it away her fingers came back sticky with blood. Her blood.

"Oh god," she pulled herself up painfully into a sitting position, groaning as every bone and muscle in her body protested. "Deeks! Deeks where are you?" She squinted into the dim light, trying to spot her partner. "Deeks!"

There was a moan to her left. "Deeks!" Kensi half crawled, half dragged her body toward the sound and found her partner's crumpled body. "Deeks, Deeks come on, wake up," she smacked his cheeks none to gently in an attempt to rouse him. "Wake up Deeks!"

"Ow," Deeks finally moaned, his eyes still closed. "Stop hitting me."

"Sorry, I'm sorry," Kensi said quickly. "Are you okay?"

"I think my arm is broken. Jeez, what the hell happened?" he asked in confusion.

"Some kind of explosion," Kensi looked up to where the ceiling should be and instead saw nothing but piles of rubble. "There must have been a trigger somewhere. I think…I think we're trapped."

"Fabulous." Deeks groaned and pushed some debris off of his chest as he tried to sit up. "Ow!"

He fell back to the floor gasping in pain. "Deeks!" Kensi's eyes searched his body frantically, landing on a twisted hunk of jagged metal that protruded from his abdomen. "Oh my god."

"Ow, oh sweet Jesus, that hurts," Deeks moaned.

"Okay, okay, just don't move. It's not so bad. Just, just don't move okay?" Kensi said her eyes glued to the offending shrapnel.

"Your mouth says it's not bad but your eyes say it is," Deeks told her. "I told you, you can't lie to me Kens."

"No, I was just surprised," Kensi said quickly. "I've seen worse. Much worse. But you should lie still just, just to help with the pain."

"Yeah, I'm not sure how much lying still is going to help but thanks anyway," he looked up at his partner. "You're bleeding."

"I'm good," Kensi told him. "Bleeding's almost stopped."

She started look around, trying to move the debris nearest to them. "What are you doing?" Deeks asked.

"Looking for a way out," Kensi said, wiping more blood from her eyes.

"Any luck?"

She shook her head. "Not so much." She touched her ear in the hopes of finding her earwig but it was long gone. "Do you have your earwig?"

Deeks shook his head. Kensi reached into her pocket and fished around for her cell phone but what she found instead were its pieces smashed beyond recognition. "Damn it. Do you still have your phone?"

"Uh, yeah, I think so. Back left pocket. You're uh, you're going to have to get it. I can't twist around."

"Okay, yeah," Kensi slid herself closer to him. "Can you lift yourself up?"

"Sure, no problem," Deeks told her.

"Okay, ready? Go!" Kensi slid her hand under his body as Deeks roared in pain. "I got it! I got it!"

Deeks collapsed onto the ground, gasping for air. "That better have been worth it," he told her.

Kensi held up the glowing phone. "It was."

"Okay, good. Good," Deeks said, his breath ragged. His eyes closed and his head lolled to the side as consciousness left him.

"Deeks! Deeks!" Kensi shook him.

His eyes opened slowly. "Sorry. What happened?"

"You can't go to sleep okay? Do you understand me? You cannot go to sleep. We're going to get out of here. I'm calling Eric right now. Just stay awake."

"Okay," Deeks' voice was softer than usual and Kensi's heart began to pound in earnest as she dialed Eric's number. "Eric!"

"Kensi! What happened? Both of your earwigs went dead. I've been trying to call you!" Eric said worriedly.

"Eric, listen," Kensi said firmly. "There was some kind of explosion. We're trapped and Deeks…" she looked at her partner who had slipped away again. "Deeks is hurt pretty badly. Eric we, we need help fast."

"Okay, Kensi, stay calm. Callen and Sam are already on their way. I'm calling fire and police right now."

"Eric, tell them to hurry," Kensi stared at her partner's limp form. "Eric? Eric!"

The phone beeped at her, a sign that the connection had died. "Damn it!" Kensi attempted to rouse her partner. "Deeks, wake up!"

He started. "I'm awake."

"Don't do that again!" Kensi told him.

"I'll do my best." Deeks tried to make himself more comfortable but nothing seemed to help. "How soon is the cavalry getting here?"

"They're on their way," Kensi said. "Any minute now."

"That's good," Deeks told her. "That's good."

She could hear his breathing growing more labored. "How are you doing? You feeling okay?"

"Things, things are not good," Deeks told her. "It's painful, very painful. You?"

"I'm good," Kensi told him. "You're good too. You're fine."

"Kensi, stop," Deeks told her. "You and I both know that I am not fine. That having a giant piece of metal in my stomach is not fine. And that if something doesn't change soon, I am going to be very, very not fine."

"Deeks," Kensi swallowed hard. "Don't say that."

"Kensi," Deeks closed his eyes and grimaced. "Do me a favor?"

"Yeah, yeah anything," Kensi scooted closer to him, anxious to do what she could to ease her partner's pain.

"Just, hold my hand okay?" This ended with a groan of pain.

"Sure, yeah," Kensi took his extended hand and gripped it tightly.

"Thanks," Deeks sighed.

His eyes closed and she realized he had slipped away again. "Deeks!"

Kensi started as his phone rang. "Eric, tell me you've got good news."

"Fire department is on the scene and they're working to find you but it's a mess."

"How long Eric?"

Eric sighed. "They're working as fast as they can."

"How long?"

There was a long pause and for a moment Kensi thought the connection had died. "It's going to be at least another forty five minutes."

Kensi looked down at Deeks her heart in her throat. "Eric, we don't have forty five minutes."

"What's happening?" Deeks woke with a start.

"Eric's on the phone," Kensi told him.

"Great, tell him I said hello," Deeks grunted.

"Kensi, I'm going to patch through a paramedic," Eric told her. "Standby."

There was a click and then a male voice. "Agent Blye?"

"Yes, I'm here."

"My name is Peter Stein. How are you guys doing down there?"

"We've been better," Kensi told him. "My partner has a large piece of shrapnel embedded in his stomach and he keeps slipping in and out of consciousness."

"And how about you? Are you injured?"

"I'm good. It's Deeks who needs help."

"Okay, can you put Mr. Deeks on the phone please?"

Kensi hit the speaker button. "How are you doing Mr. Deeks?"

"My partner's lying to you," Deeks said in between labored breaths. "She's got a head wound and it looks like maybe some broken ribs from the way she keeps wincing when she moves."

"Deeks," Kensi tried to interrupt him.

The injured man chuckled and then cringed in pain. "Oh god. Ah. You know how you can tell when my girl is lying Pete? It's in her eyes. I can't it explain it really but her eyes," Deeks looked up at her, "they tell everything."

"I'm sure they do," Peter said quietly.

"So I'm good right now Pete, as long as my girl is sitting here looking at me," Deeks wheezed, his eyes never leaving Kensi's.

"Okay Mr. Deeks. You just hang on. Agent Blye, a word?"

Kensi took the phone off speaker and put it to her ear. "Agent Blye you need to keep him as calm and still as possible. He most certainly has internal injuries and any movement will only make them worse. Can you keep him calm?"

"Yes, of course," Kensi said, attempting to keep her tears at bay.

"Good we'll-"

The phone went dead again. Kensi squeezed it tightly in her fist as frustration filled her. "What did he say?" Deeks asked. "How dead am I?"

"Shut up!" Kensi told him. "You are not dying. Not today."

"Kensi."

"No, Deeks. No. You just, you promise me. Promise me right now that you won't die," Kensi told him frantically.

"Okay, okay," Deeks said softly. "I won't die."

"Good," Kensi relaxed a little, letting her head rest against a pile of broken concrete.

"You know what would make me feel better?" Deeks said after a moment.

"What?"

"If you told me why you hate Disneyland."

"Deeks," Kensi sighed.

"You can trust me Kensi," he said softly. "Besides, who am I going to tell down here?"

Kensi toyed with a broken piece of rock on the floor and thought for a long time before speaking. "When I was eight my dad took me to see 'The Little Mermaid'. And I loved it. I loved everything about it. I begged him every day for a year to take me to Disneyland. And when he finally did it was…amazing. It was everything I had ever dreamed it would be. It's one of my favorite memories with my father."

"Okay, so what changed?" Deeks asked hoarsely.

Kensi looked away. "Jack took me there for my birthday. And he proposed. In front of the castle during the fireworks. Every girl's dream. So when he," Kensi cleared her throat, "when he left, it was like he stole those memories. I can't go back there. It hurts too much."

Deeks gave her hand a squeeze. "I'm sorry." He began to cough and then choke. Blood flew from his lips as he gasped for air.

"Deeks!"

"I can't, I can't breathe!" Deeks gasped.

"Okay, just hold on," Kensi dialed Eric's number praying for service. "Come on, come on!"

"Kensi!"

"Eric!"

"They're about the break through Kensi, just hang in there!"

"Kensi," Deeks said weakly.

"Deeks! Deeks!" Tears streamed down her cheeks as the sound of heavy machinery filled the air. "You promised! Stay awake! You promised!"

"Kensi," He reached up and touched her cheek. "I'm sorry."

His eyes closed and his hand went limp. "Deeks!" Kensi screamed his name but her partner didn't rouse.

"Kensi! They're coming through! Kensi!" the sound of Eric's voice seemed faint but the next thing Kensi knew people were calling her name and reaching for her. She grabbed Deeks' limp hand and held it tightly, refusing to let go.

"Kensi! Kensi let them help you!" Callen was right in her face. "Kensi let him go. You have to let him go!"

"I can't!" Kensi said weakly, refusing to release her grip. She was not going to leave him.

"Kensi, you're hurt. You need to let him go," Sam's voice joined the throng.

"Please," Kensi begged weakly, the pain in her ribs had become nearly overwhelming. She felt the prick of a needle in her arm and almost immediately felt an overpowering sense of tiredness.

"It's okay Kensi. Just let him go," Callen urged.

The world began to fade and the last thing she remembered was Deeks' hand slipping from her fingers.

* * *

><p>The next thing Kensi knew was bright light. The pain in her side had dulled somewhat and her limbs had the heavy feeling that came with being sedated and pumped full of morphine. Kensi tried to focus, to get her bearings. Something was beeping nearby and oxygen flowed through a mask on her face. She tried to swallow but found her throat raw. And then she remembered. Deeks was gone.<p>

She blinked several times, fighting back tears, before noticing Callen in the chair next to her bed. He sat forward when she made eye contact. "Welcome back. It's good to see you awake."

She tried to sit up but fire burned through her ribs and she winced in pain. "Take it easy," Callen told her. "You've got two broken ribs and a nasty head wound, not to mention a concussion."

Kensi closed her eyes as he continued to speak, trying to fight off the emotions threatening to overwhelm her. She'd seen the life slipping from her partner's eyes, felt his body struggle for air and lose.

"We found enough evidence in the rubble to convict. Amir and his friends won't be a problem for a long time," Callen told her. "You and Deeks did good."

A tear slipped down her cheek and her chest squeezed painfully. "Hey," Callen's face showed his concern. "Are you in pain? I'll call the nurse."

She shook her head and pushed off the oxygen mask. "Deeks," she whispered.

"Kensi, Deeks is fine," Callen told her. "He lost a lot of blood and they had to remove his spleen but he's going to be fine. Sam hasn't left his side since they brought him out of surgery."

Kensi could no longer control the flood of tears that had built up in her eyes and they began to flow freely down her cheeks. "Hey, hey," Callen reached for her hand.

"I thought he was gone," she sobbed. "I thought-"

"Hey, it's okay. Everything's going to be fine," Callen soothed her.

"Can I see him? Please?" Kensi asked.

"He's in ICU Kens. And you're in no shape to go up there right now," Callen pushed the call button as he spoke.

A nurse appeared and took in the situation before starting to change the IV running into Kensi's arm. "Agent Blye I'm going to give you a little more sedation. It's going to make you feel much better."

"No, no I don't want it," Kensi said between tears.

The nurse looked to Callen who nodded. "You need to rest Kens. I'll be here when you wake up."

Kensi fought the sedation for as long as she could but her body was too exhausted to win and soon she succumbed to slumber.

Kensi didn't wake again until the next morning. Her side still burned but her skull throbbed less for which she was grateful. She looked toward the chair where Callen had sat and found it vacant. She considered pushing the call button but decided to take matters into her own hands instead.

Gritting her teeth she pulled the IV from her arm and then slowly swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Using the IV pole for support she slowly pulled herself to her feet, wincing as her ribs burned even more fiercely.

She took a second to steady herself before letting the pole go and standing on her own. She took one step and then another. Her breath started coming more quickly, which made the pain in her side skyrocket from a five to an eight. Sweat began to bead on her forehead and her vision began to swim but she persisted. She needed to see Deeks. Needed to see that he was alive and all right.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Kensi looked up to find Callen standing in the doorway. "You're supposed to be in bed resting."

"I'm fine," Kensi said through her teeth which were clenched in pain.

"No, you're not," Callen told her. "Get back in bed."

"Callen-"

"Kensi, that's an order," he took her arm. "Come on."

He helped her back into bed. Kensi let out a hiss as her ribs protested. "Really Kens?" Callen held up the dripping end of her IV.

"I need to see Deeks," Kensi told him.

"Say thank you," Callen told her.

Kensi frowned at him. "What?"

"Just say thank you," Callen repeated.

"Thank you?" Kensi said slowly.

"You're welcome," Callen told her as he pushed open the door.

Kensi watched as the foot of a bed appeared in the doorway and then felt her heart leap as she realized who lay upon it. "Deeks!"

"He's stable enough to be out of ICU so we pulled a few strings to put you in here together," Sam told her as they pushed Deeks' bed into place with the help of an orderly.

Kensi took in her partner's pale and sunken complexion, the bruises that mottled his torso. Dark stubble covered his chin and there were circles under his eyes. A white bandage spread across his abdomen hiding the injuries underneath.

"He's been in and out," Callen told her. "But the doctors say he's doing great."

Deeks chose that moment to stir. "We'll be outside if you need us," Sam told her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Thanks," Kensi said, her eyes never leaving her partner's face. "Hey," she said softly when he finally met her gaze.

"Hey," he replied hoarsely.

"How are you feeling?"

"Not bad considering," he told her. "We cut that one pretty close huh?"

"Deeks, I—" Kensi's words caught in her throat and a tear slid down her cheek.

"Hey, hey," Deeks stretched out his good arm in her direction. "Ow, hey, you gotta meet me half way here. Kens."

She finally reached over and grabbed his hand tightly. "I thought that was it Deeks. I thought-"

"Nah, you're not going to get rid of me that easy," he said with a smile. He swallowed and she could tell he was fighting off some emotions of his own. "Besides, we need to fix your feelings for Disneyland before I can kick the bucket."

She laughed in spite of herself. "Thanks for not dying."

"I aim to please," he let out a chuckle and then winced. "Gotta remember not to do that."

Callen and Sam came back into the room and the partners let their hands drop. "So Kens, you're scheduled to get out of here tomorrow and if things go well you should be out by the end of the week Deeks," Callen told them. "And I have strict orders from Hetty not to let either of you back in the office until the following Monday which gives you a whole week to rest and recuperate."

"Ooh!" Sam said with a smile. "That's a lot of free time. What are you going to do with it?"

Deeks looked over at his partner. "I think we'll go to Disneyland."

"Kensi hates Disneyland," Sam reminded him.

Kensi met her partner's gaze and smiled. "Not anymore."

* * *

><p>AN: Any thoughts are always welcome! This one had minimal editing because I finished it so close to the due date so I welcome all input! Thanks for reading!


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